


Remember

by violettavioletta



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violettavioletta/pseuds/violettavioletta
Summary: What does Dumbledore remember when he wakes up in the hospital, having just defeated Grindelwald?
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Remember

Pain upon pain, that was all Albus Dumbledore could comprehend. The worst pain he had ever been in, by far. He tried to make some sound, tried to stir, and found he could not. In fact, it took tremendous effort to even open his eyes. Once he did, though, he gave an involuntary attempt to start (an attempt he paid for dearly), for there was a witch staring down at him.

"Oh, Mr. Dumbledore!" she said, surprised, "Can... can you hear me?"

He tried to speak, but she shushed him immediately, not that he could've really done it. "Just blink once for yes and twice for no, Mr. Dumbledore."

He blinked once.

"Oh, good! Do you... remember what happened?"

He hesitated. Did he?

* * *

_He is watching the boy move into Bathilda's house with great interest. Bathilda had told him that the boy was brilliant, that they simply had to meet, and Dumbledore could tell, even from here, that the boy carried a rather striking magical aura about him..._

* * *

_Bathilda has had him over for dinner so he might meet Gellert, and his siblings too. Ariana did not come, of course. Aberforth is watching Gellert with great dislike, and Albus cannot understand why. The boy is as brilliant as Bathilda said he was, matching Albus's conversation on the latest magical developments with ease. And... while it doesn't matter, of course, doesn't matter at all, his eyes are... are something else._

* * *

_He is in his room with Gellert, having invited the boy over every second he could since first meeting him. They are discussing the merits and drawbacks of transfiguration via potion when Aberforth bursts in. His eyes narrow in dislike upon seeing Gellert, but he doesn't allow them to linger._

_"It's Ariana, Albus", Aberforth says, henceforth looking only at his brother, "She's... in a mood. Asking for you."_

_"Couldn't... couldn't you handle it?" Albus says, and he is guilty for asking, but not guilty enough to leave Gellert._

_Aberforth is furious. "No, I most certainly could not, she specifically asked for you, not that I could tell you why, given how terrible you are to her! Couldn't you spare a few seconds of your valuable time for your poor, mad little sister?"_

_Albus starts. He had referred to Ariana that way, to Gellert, in private. Aberforth is listening, then. Still, Aberforth is right. Ariana... Ariana must be prioritized._

_"Alright", he says simply, slipping off the bed where he and Gellert had been sitting, "I'll be back, Gellert." And though he does not see the boy's face as he leaves, he swears the room gets a bit darker, a bit colder..._

* * *

_"What do you mean, New Order? I thought you merely wanted to study the Hallows..."_

_"Oh, come off it, Albus", says Gellert, and Albus cannot help but jump a bit at the beautiful, so very German way that Gellert says his name, "You, of all people... why on Earth would you go through the trouble of finding them not to use them?"_

_Albus is a bit stricken. "For curiosity? Discovery? Is that not reason enough?"_

_Gellert raises his eyes. "Surely you don't mean that you aren't curious at least of the Stone?"_

_Albus's heart stops. "The... the Stone?"_

_"Yes, the Stone. Your parents back. You... finally free. Free to... to be with me..."_

_And Gellert is kissing him, hungrily, and Albus is kissing him back, oh Merlin, oh_ Merlin...

* * *

_"That's Dark Magic, Gellert", Albus says, though his voice is not accusatory. In fact, it is rather... fascinated._

_"Oh, Liebling", Gellert says, and Albus feels his heart beat much faster at the nickname, Gellert's name for him, only for him, "it's only dark if you make it dark, really."_

_And Gellert points his wand at Ignotus Peverall's grave, and a ghost rises, a man made entirely of dust._

_"No", it says, "I won't... won't tell you a thing..."_

_Gellert, it seems, is not interested in reasoning with the thing. He points his wand at the thing, sends off a curse that leaves the hair on Albus's arms standing up, and the thing disappears again. Gellert screams in fury, kicks a rock, and it occurs to Albus that he is, for the first time ever in Gellert's presence, rather afraid._

_"Gellert..." he says gently. Gellert turns around, and for a moment, the most fleeting moment, Albus wonders how on earth anyone could call Ariana mad, compared with the look in Gellert's eyes. And then it is gone, back to the handsome face of the boy Albus loves so very much, the only one he has ever loved._

_"That was... I don't think you should do that again, Gellert", says Albus, and Gellert gets a funny look in his eyes._

_"I'm sorry I scared you", he says, "I need you, Albus. I need you." And Gellert is kissing him tenderly, but it is Gellert, so it doesn't stay tender for long, and Gellert's mouth is at his throat, Gellert's hands down his sides, pressing him against an old tombstone..._

_I'm sorry I scared you, I need you. Albus would analyze that sentence, years later. I'm sorry I scared you, not sorry I did that. I need you, not I love you._

* * *

_Gellert is touching him, oh Merlin, Gellert is touching him, they are in his bedroom and Gellert is touching him and it feels so good, so good..._

_Ariana screams, somewhere downstairs. Albus freezes, tries to rise, he must see to his sister, he knows this, but Gellert pushes him back down, sends a silencing charm and a locking charm at the door, and Albus doesn't resist. Maybe Aberforth is pounding at the door, Albus doesn't know, he doesn't know anything but the feel of Gellert's lips on his neck..._

* * *

_"It's like I said in my letter", Albus says lightly, "For the Greater Good. Everything we do must be for the greater good. Never seeking power for power's sake, but for the sake of those we would exercise it over."_

_His head is in Gellert's lap, and Gellert strokes his hair lightly as he speaks, and it feels nice, it feels very nice._

_"That's right, Liebling", Gellert responds, and Albus feels a chill down his spine that he knows has nothing to do with the temperature. He is, in this moment, he realizes, the happiest he has ever been in his life, perhaps the happiest he will ever be again. And then..._

_"You!" he hears his brother yell, the door being thrown open, "You're... you're poisoning my brother, you are! Filling his head with... with all of this horseshit about... about wizard supremacy... muggle subservience... I won't have it, I tell you!"_

_Abus opens his mouth to tell his brother to get out, to go the fuck away, he's busy, but Gellert silences him with a look, the sort of look that Albus has always known he would do absolutely anything for._

_"Poisoning your brother, am I?" he says, and his voice is so dangerous that Albus wants to move away from him, but Gellert's hand is tangled rather firmly in his hair now, preventing him from doing so, "No, Aberforth. It's you who has been poisoning your brother, you and that sister of yours. Holding him back. Not anymore..."_

_"Don't you dare talk about my little sister like that!" Albus opens his mouth, whether to agree with Aberforth or to defend Gellert, he isn't sure, because his little brother turns on him next. "And you", he says, and there is a fury there that Albus has never known, "Acting all high and mighty, giving your speeches, gaining yourself a following, oh, brilliant Albus Dumbledore! Don't think I don't know what you two are planning, some grand adventure. Well, you'd better put a stop to that right now. Your sister is here, Albus, or have you forgotten? She's in no right state to be left alone or taken along with you. I'm going back to school, as you insisted. Someone's got to stay right here and take care of that girl, I tell you. The selfish delusions of grandeur stop right now, you terrible... you selfish... you wicked..."_

_"You stupid little boy", Gellert says, before Albus can say anything, "Don't you understand? Don't you get it? Your sister shouldn't have to be hidden, she won't have to be hidden, not once we're through! Can't you get it through your thick skull that this... everything we're doing... is for the greater good?"_

_Aberforth pulls out his wand, but before Albus can say a thing, can say anything at all, Gellert has his out, and he's yelled the curse, the terrible curse, and Aberforth is writhing with pain on the floor..._

_"No!", he yells, finally finding his voice, "Stop it Gellert, Stop it! Oh... no Ari, no, get out of here!"_

_Ariana has found her way towards the racket. She is watching, her eyes wide, so wide, and then she is on the floor too, oh Merlin, oh Merlin..._

_Albus isn't quite sure what he's doing until he does it, he's tackled Gellert, breaking the curses on his siblings, and then Aberforth is on his feet too, and they're dueling, all three of them, and Gellert is hurting his siblings, he's hurting them, and Albus is begging him not to as he fires back every jinx, every hex, every curse he can think of, to hurt him instead, why Gellert, oh, what are you doing Gellert, stop it, he's begging Gellert to stop, begging Gellert to hurt him instead, begging Gellert to kill him..._

_And then Aberforth yells, a terrible, terrible scream that Albus will remember the rest of his life, will hear in his nightmares. Albus turns, expecting another cruciatus curse, maybe a worse one this time, but no, no, what he sees is worse, so much worse..._

_Ariana._

_Ariana is lying still on the floor._

* * *

_Grindelwald is gaining power, he has heard. He cannot face him. He knows he should. Knows Grindelwald fears him, for he knows he can beat him, because he understands him. But he cannot face what has become of the only one he has ever loved._

_He cannot face the man who, unless he is mistaken, knows what he did, or didn't do._

_He stares at Ariana's grave. He has made a habit of visiting her a few times a week, after, of course, making sure that Aberforth isn't there. He hasn't spoken to Aberforth since he broke his nose. Not because he was mad at Aberforth, of course, quite the opposite._

_He sighs a deep, grief-laden sigh. He conjures up some beautiful daisies, for Ariana. He smiled very briefly as he remembered how she had loved daisies._

* * *

_He is with a man who had looked like Gellert, something he has done several times. This man is even German, too. And while the man does all the right things, whispers the right words, is by all means very skilled, it doesn't work, he can't find it in him to forget, because he does not have what Gellert did._

_Albus is not afraid of this man._

* * *

_They are dead. All the men he has been with, since Gellert. The Aurors can't figure out why Grindelwald killed all these men, as they aren't connected. Albus, though... Albus knows._

* * *

_It is five years later, and Albus knows where Grindelwald is. He must face him, he knows, people are dying, he must face him, after all these years. Fleetingly, he wonders if he is still beautiful._

* * *

_He is. Maddeningly so. But there is something else there. His face is a ghost of what it once was, melted away by the dark magic within him. A once handsome face, left to rot._

_By now, he is beautiful to no one but Albus, Albus is sure._

_"Albus", the man whispers, and Albus hates that his heart jumps, "My old friend. You've found me."_

_"I've known where you were all along, Grindelwald."_

_"Since when am I 'Grindelwald' to you?" His voice is gentle, contemplative. Albus knows that voice. It had comforted him, confided in him, laughed with him, made love to him, decades ago. Albus does not answer. He knows Grindelwald is not really asking him. He is trying to get inside his head._

_The issue is, he's very, very good at it._

* * *

_They duel. Merlin, do they duel. For hours, perhaps days, Albus isn't sure. All he knows is that he is stumbling through nearby woods, trees uprooting themselves in his wake, trying to hold his insides in, when the curse hits him in the back, and he's on his knees, and there's Grindelwald, he's on his knees in front of Grindelwald, a position he hasn't assumed in forty-five years, and this is the most natural thing in the world. But it isn't, it isn't, what's done is done, and so with the last of his strength he grabs Grindelwald's wand, the Elder Wand, and forces it down just as he sends off a simple body bind hex, a hex that lands directly on Grindelwald, and Grindelwald falls, and for one fleeting moment Albus wants to run to him, as if they're seventeen again, sparring in Bathilda's backyard, and grab his hand and pull him up, laughing, and suggest they go inside for some sandwiches. But no. No._

_Ariana is dead, now._

_He considers killing Grindelwald. He can't quite find it in him to want to. A very sharp stab of pain behind his left eye reminds him that he is in very deep trouble. With the last of his strength, he sends a patronus to the nearby village. People had been watching his duel with Grindelwald, that was why he had led it all out here, to avoid casualties, but still, surely they'd still be there, could come to his aid._

_For his happy memory, he thinks of a beautiful four-year-old child who had no idea that in a decade she would lie dead upon the floor, not having used her magic in years, of a little boy with eyes just like his who talked to the goats in the barn like old friends and stilled trusted in what his older brother said, and of a golden haired boy in his bed, arms wrapped around him very tight._

* * *

Albus blinks once, for yes. He remembers, alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This and all my other work is also on fanfiction.net, I'm going to try to transfer everything I've written today and cross-publish from now on. Hope you enjoyed :)


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